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The Trip (1)
Jerry's father Morty comes to the conclusion that someone stole his wallet at the doctor's office after he has trouble finding it. Elaine decides its time to dump her boyfriend who is also her psychiatrist.
Jerry sits down to a meal with his parents and his uncle. Uncle Leo brings up the watch he saw Jerry throw away (previous episode) which his parents gave to him. Elaine has Kramer pose as her boyfriend to make it easier with her to break up with her psychiatrist. While at the pscychiatrist Elaine meets crazy Joe whom Jerry and George have been hiding from. She decides to go out on a date with him.
George, Jerry, and Elaine travel to a cabin owned by Susan's father and spend some time there. Kramer was not invited but he finds his way their anyway and starts a fire at the cabin. Jerry's latest girlfriend sounds like Elmer Fudd when she laughs. George and Elaine agree to meet with a sick boy who lives in a bubble to protect himself from germs. Things are going well as the three of them play a nice friendly game of trivia pursuit. One of the questions had the answer "moops" rather than moors. The Bubble Boy says it is a missprint but George is adament to have the Bubble Boy lose one question after he has made George feel stupid. George and the Bubble Boy get into a fight over this question, with the phrases "Moops" and "Moors" sounding in the background. The Bubble Boy tries to strangle George and then the bubble is popped figuratively as the Bubble Boy loses his bubble.
George and Jerry begin writing the script for their NBC pilot show. Papers discovered from the cabin fire at Susan's father's house (from the previous episode) reveal that Susan's dad is gay. Kramer searches for Cuban cigars at the Cuban Embassy in New York.
George tries to scalp an Opera ticket after finding out that his girlfriend Susan can not go. Elaine dates an old friend of Jerry's "Crazy Joe" which puts a curse or "kibosh" on Jerry.
George and Jerry work together to come up with something more concrete to base the pilot they are pitching to NBC. George thinks of dumping his girlfriend Susan so that he can use that fact that he is a screen writer as a pick up line. Elaine is involved in an accident with a Chinese delivery boy (in a later episode he will threaten to sue her). Jerry dates a woman that is a virgin with a British accent. Elaine attempts to teach her about men and the finer points of sex.
The gang has a contest with a wager to see who can go the longest without masterbation. Jerry's girlfriend "the virgin" finds out about the contest and is disgusted. Elaine meets John F Kennedy Jr at the gym and ends up masterbating to thoughts of him. She is out of the contest. Kramer has sex with a neighbor that does everything in the nude for everyone to see. The Virgin after being upset loses her virginity to John F Kennedy Jr. George tells Jerry that he won the contest in the Puffy shirt episode which came much later.. In the last episode George admits that he really lied about this so Jerry really won the contest.
Jerry and Elaine fly in an airplane with Jerry in first class and Elaine in coach. Elaine becomes tired of the crowded section she is in. She gets up to go to the bathroom (holds her breath while inside because of the smell) and has trouble getting back to her seat. When she does she is told that she shouldn't have gotten up during food service and that she must have gotten her meal which she didn't. Elaine sneaks up to first class after smelling cookies up there. She attempts to sleep in an abandoned seat but is quickly asked to leave. Jerry awakens from his nap in first class and asks what all the ruckus is. He is sitting next to a model and has been brought slippers and treated like a king. Elaine meanwhile is back to coach. Jerry comments that the curtain that separates coach from first class is really no protection at all and that there really should be a door. George and Kramer wait where they believe Jerry and Elaine will land but find out the flight has been rerouted so they drive off again. George offends a criminal who wished to buy a copy of Time magazine in which he was on the cover as a killer. George is determined to get back a few bucks he felt he was scammed out of many years ago. Kramer purchases some airplane tickets so that the two may go aboard an airplane to see if they can confront the man that owes George money. Kramer purchases discount tickets which are nonrefundable. The plane takes off before George can leave. The convict from earlier is onboard and George is beaten up as his face can be seen screaming the word Kramer from the window of the plane. Kramer is seen running outside on the runway by Jerry in another plane who says it couldn't be.
The model from the previous episode the Airport sees Jerry scratching his nose as she pulls up beside his car. She thinks he was picking his nose and is offended. Elaine sends out Christmas cars that show an exposed nipple. The Calven Klen company comes out with a new cologne with a beachy smell entitled the Ocean. This was an earlier idea Kramer had in a previous episode. Kramer complains to Calvin Klein and they agree to let him be an underwear model to keep him happy.
George, Kramer, Jerry, and Elaine plan to see a movie together. George arrives at the the theater and believes that Jerry and Elaine are hiding so he has a fit. As the movie blares in the background George bellows and motions that Elaine and Jerry should show themselves. His sillouette stocky figure reminds one of jaws or some other magical movie moment. George finally learns that there is another showing of the movie that he is supposed to see. George then says he is sorry and heads away as everyone toses popcorn at him. Kramer sits alone watching the movie the gang had planned to see. Jerry and Elaine watch another movie because they arrived to the theater late. A whole episode about being late to the movie theater is just another example of how Seinfeld is a show about nothing.
George meets a Chinese female lawyer that thinks he is really funny. George tells Jerry to not be so funny around her so that George can really appear funny to her. At first Jerry has trouble with this but then he starts to say rather dark and twisted things when around George's girlfriend. The Chinese lawywer ultimately starts to like the dark and mysterious aspect of Jerry as she perceives it. George attempts to make himself appear really dark and twisted but only ruins his chances with the girl. Kramer accidentally punches Mickey Mantle during a fantasy baseball camp fight so he is sent home early. Babu an immigrant from India is arrested and scheduled to be deported after Jerry forget to give him his Visa papers. Elaine had kept Jerry's mail and forgot to give it to him for a really long time. Jerry tries to get the female lawyer to help Babu with his deportation hearing but she refuses after George offends her. Now the lawyer will lead a case against Elaine because she hit a Chinese deilivery boy earlier by accident.
The President of NBC spots George staring at the cleavage of his daughter. This greatly hurts the chances of the pilot show for Jerry ever being developed. Elaine uses her own cleavage powers to win over the NBC executive however. Elaine gives her shoes to an ex girlfriend of Jerry's to keep the peace.
A college reporter runs a story that George and Jerry are gay because the reporter misinterpreted a joke George and Jerry were trying to play on the reporter. Jerry struggles to prove that he is straight. The story about Jerry's gayness is ran in the New York Post.
George, Elaine, and Jerry volunteer to help the elderly in a retirment home. Kramer and Newman scheme to make money off of used records.
Jerry dates a woman (Terry Hatcher) whom he believes has breast implants. He talks with Elaine and Elaine believes they are not real but becomes curious about this too. Jerry breaks up with her because he thinks they aren't real. One day Elaine is in the sauna with the woman and dives for her breasts as she pretends to fall. She discovers they are real. Jerry tries to get back with his previous girlfriend but its too late. Lawyer Jackie Chiles moves in on this woman and after an encounter exclaims that "They are real and they are spectacular." George goes to a funeral with his girlfriend and tries to get a half off special which is given to those who travel to attend funerals. He returns with no proof and attempts extrme measures to obtain proof but utlimately fails in his quest for the discount.
Jerry's new girlfriend has a name that rhymes with a female body part, but Jerry can't remember it for the life of him. After making out with her, he knows that it is just too late to ask her about this. He and George ponder what her name may be in the Coffee shop. George thinks aloud and comes up with Mulva, Bovary, and Arethra. The name still can't be remembered. Jerry spends more time with her and attempts to look in her purse to find out her name. She catches him and he says he was just looking for some gum or a junior mint. Kramer enters the room and Jerry gets Kramer to introduce himself to her in hopes that she would be forced to reveal her own name. It doesen't work and then he tries the same thing when George enters the room. Jerry can only refer to this woman as "you." He mutters Mulva to her and inquires in a secretive way to see if this is her name. He then claims he has an aunt named Mulva and that her massages reminded him of her. She ultimately finds out that Jerry does not know her name and leaves. Just as she has left Jerry realises her name and screams Dolores from his apartment. Dolores rhymes with clitoris a rather intimate part of the female anatomy. Elaine discovers that a guy she once went out with is in the hospital and is about to undergo surgery. She remembers him from the past as fat and feels compeled to see him in the hospital but has Jerry pose as a boyfriend so that the guy doesen't get the wrong idea. Kramer also goes along to the hospital so that he can get some gloves to use in his apartment for redoing the wallpaper. In the hospital Elaine discovers that he has lost a lot of weight. He tells Elaine that after they broke up he was not able to eat for weeks. She naturally feels rather good about this effect she had on the man. Jerry goes to the corner and plays Yo Yo as Elaine tries to downplay her comments about Jerry being the boyfriend. Elaine arranges to have dinner with the man after the operation. She later tries to back out of this after she sees how he eats like a pig but Jerry won't help her with this. Kramer comments with the doctor about retractors which he heard about on 20/20 and the doctors tells him that those retractors will not be used. Kramer is invited to watch the operation, Jerry agrees to come to after commenting that it will be fun to see the guy cut open. Kramer snacks on Junior mints as the doctors operate and once even asks a doctor to move so he can get a better view. Kramer offers Jerry a mint but Jerry says no. Kramer persists and Jerry accidentally knocks the Junior Mint out of Kramer's hand and into the open wound of the man being operated on. Jerry and Kramer look on in horror and ponder what they have done. At first the man recovers from his operation but then falls very ill. George believes that the man may die so he invests $1900 in a painting by the man which he refers to as "the triangles." If the artist dies the panting could be worth some money he presumes. The man ultimately gets better and the doctor tells the gang that powers from above were at work to stay off the infection. This was humorous as the Junior Mint fell from above and into the wound earlier.
The Smelly Car
Jerry notices an unusual odor in his car after having it parked by a valet. The odor becomes so unbearable that Jerry attempts to sell the car but can't. Instead Jerry leaves the car and it's keys just on the street for the taking. George spots his girlfriend, Susan holding hands with a girl. George finds his girlfriend's new outlook on sexuality interesting. Kramer converts Susan's friend to heterosexuality but she soon converts back after smelling a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry that was in the smelly car.
Kramer talks George into parking his father's car in a handicap spot while he goes to shop for an engagement present for a friend "the Drake." A handicap woman gets injured because of George's parking. Kramer and George see her in the hospital. Kramer begins to like the lady and replaces her wheelchair which was damaged as a result of the accident. The wheelchair he gives her is not of the highest quality however. The old lady flys down a hill at full speed with no way to stop as the brakes on the wheelchair are defective. As a result of George's parking leading to the old lady getting hurt an angry mob damages the car. George's dad gets arrested for parking in the handicap spot that George parked in himself earlier. George becomes a butler of a sort for his father. The butler concept in this episode probably was a reference of sorts to the butler concept in the "Jerry" show that Jerry and George pitch which also has a butler.
George and Jerry reach an agreement with NBC executivies to produce a pilot for their show about nothing. They primarily get an agreement to do the show because NBC's President really likes Elaine. In the pilot Jerry is to play himself but actors are to play Kramer, George, and Elaine. George notices a small white blimish on his lip and asks everyone if they see it too. George thinks he spots the man playing Kramer's character taking a box of raisins from the set and absolutely must find out the truth on the matter. The actress playing Elaine wants to experience what Elaine's life is really like. That includes sampling the real Jerry in bed to help her better know the role she is to play. Elaine has a problem with the waitresses of a coffee shop she and Jerry go to. All the waitresses are large chested. Jerry and George love this fact, but Elaine takes issue with this until she discovers the waitresses all have similar endowments because they are relatives of the coffee shop's owner.
George asks the man playing Kramer more about what he knows about the raisins. The character playing George acts frantically as he worries that he will forget his lines or screw up. Jerry comments that the actor is just like George. The filming of the pilot is watched by Elaine in disguise as well as by Jerry's relatives on TV later. Elaine attends the screening in disguise to avoid a crazy man "Joe" that thinks he knows her but doesen't. She wears a stylish blonde whig in the episode. The pilot's premise centers around Jerry having a buttler and the normal nothing adventures that Jerry's life often has with Elaine, George, and Kramer. NBC's President begins to act funny because of his obsession with Elaine. After Elaine tells him off he goes mad and joins green peace to save the whales. The episode ends with him chasing a boat trying to spread the "environmental cheer" before being thrown overboard. With NBC's President gone a new woman fills his shoes and decides the Jerry Show is just not what NBC needs.
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