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Episode Guides

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Season 5

The Mango

Kramer gets banned from his favorite fruit store so he has Jerry get fruit for him. George experiences impotence and worries about the consequences. Jerry learns that Elaine faked her orgasms when they had sex during the episode The Deal. Jerry tries to talk Elaine into giving him another chance to redeem himself.

The Puffy Shirt

Kramer dates a low talker or someone that talks very quietly. This girlfriend, Jerry, and Kramer eat dinner together and the low talker says something to Jerry. Jerry just acts agreeable because he can't tell what she is saying. Later he finds out that he had just agreed to wear a new shirt style during his guest appearance on the tonight show with Jay Leo. The shirt is known as the Puffy Shirt and resembles something a pirate would wear. Jerry at first absolutely will not wear the shirt, but then he hears that production of the ugly shirt has already begun and is dependent on his apperance with it on during his tonight show apperance. Jerry wears the shirt and Jay Leno pokes fun of him and everyone laughs. George moves in with his parents and is later discovered as a highly talented hand model. Jerry responds that a lifetime of avoiding manual work allowed George's hands to be as they are. Things are going great for George at first. He models watches and is very well paid. He walks around wearing oven mits to protect his hands from possible hazzards. He takes them off for a moment and is burned by a hot iron. His career as a handmodel ended tragically just like another person in the industry he had heard of.

The Glasses

George has his glasses stolen so he goes to one of Kramer's friends in an attempt to get a 30 percent discount on a new pair. Kramer had broken the eye doctors addiction to sugar so he felt a debt of obligation was in order. George ends up wearing a pair of woman's glasses. Elaine gets bit by a dog and becomes afraid of all dogs. George can't see very well with his glasses but swears he saw Jerry's girlfriend kissing one of Jerry's cousins. Jerry tries to get to the bottom of this sortid affair.

The Sniffing Accountant

Elaine's new boyfriend uses an exclamation mark in everything he writes. Elaine dumps him when he does not leave an exclamation mark in a note to her. George interviews for a position as a bra salesman with the help of his father. Everyone suspects Jerry's accountant of being a drug user. Jerry, Newman, and Kramer set out on an adventure to find the truth about the accountant.

The Bris

Jerry, Elaine and George go to a hospital to witness a newly born child.Elaine and Jerry are asked to be godparents to the recently born child. They help arrange the Jewish ceremonies including circumcision. The rabbi they get to preform the operation is rude, and scary. He yells at Elaine for putting her glass near the edge of a table which hogs all the room. Jerry holds the baby so the circumcision can be done. George faints after he sees just how mad the circumcisor is. Jerry gets his finger cut and goes to the hospital. Kramer swears that he saw a half man half pig creature known as the pigman in the hospital. He goes to the room the pig man was in and finds nothing later. Kramer hears of genetic testing being done at the hospital and reasons that this proves the pigman is there. George thinks a race of mutant pig men is a good idea as it would make him appear more attractive to women as they could say "at least he isn't a pigman." Jerry replies that even with pigmen there would be some female perverts that find the tail cute. The episode ends with Kramer running around the hospital with what appears to be a pigman on his back. Throughout the episode Elaine and Jerry make pig expressions by pushing their nose back with their hand to help describe Kramer's pigman search.

The Lip Reader

Kramer becomes a ballboy for the US Open and brings Jerry along. Jerry feels attraced to one of the players and after urging by George gains the courage to approach her after a match and talk to her. She is deaf and Jerry goes out with her later. George and Jerry contemplate the powers of the deaf woman's lipreading abilities. George and Jerry talk in a coffee shop about this and constantly conceal their lips by coughing and covering their mouths with their hands to thwart her lipreading abilities. George wants to use the lipreader to learn why an ex girlfriend dumped him. Jerry says this would be exploitation. George responds lipreading is like anyother skill; just like juggling. Then they look at her and learn she could read everything they said and she says she will do it. George, Jerry, and the lipreader go to a party and use the lipreader to eavesdrop on the woman that previously dumed George.

The Non-Fat Yogurt

Kramer invests in a not fat yogart shop but everyone who eats there gains weight. Kramer dates a lab technician. Jerry and Elaine have the yogart tested by the lab technician after becoming suspicous as to why they are gaining weight.. Elaine dates one of George's old friends that George swears is always trying to embarass him. The friend runs a candidates campain for mayor of New York. Elaine gives him an idea for his campaign for mayor; everyone should wear nametags.. The campagin turns sour when the tests for the non fat yogurt get mixed up with some lab tests of the candiate for mayor. Jerry gets caught swearing in front of a young boy who starts swearing too after that.

12* The Barber

Jerry gets a bad haircut but doesen't have the heart to tell his barber or get a new one. Jerry secretly gets a haircut by one of the barber's assitants in his apartment. He almost is found out by the barber at first but manages to hide the evidence. The barber suspects something and sends Newman over to try to retrieve a sample of Jerry's hair so he can know if his assitant is cutting Jerry's hair. Newman goes to Jerry's bathroom and can't find a single hair in Jerry's comb or sink. This reinforces the germophobe nature of Jerry which underlines many episodes. Newman then attempts to clip a piece of hair off Jerry directly. He sneaks behind him then crosses his arm mischivously when Jerry turns around. He finally reaches around the couch and gets a sample. The barber uses the hair sample to deduce Jerry is getting his hair cut by his assistant and goes to Jerry's apartment for a showdown. At first things appear to be going to get messy, but then Edward Scissorhands is seen on the TV and the barber and his assistant can't help but watch and be fascinated by the superhero with scissors. Jerry is supposed to attend a singles auction to raise money for charity but backs out. Elaine has to bring Kramer instead. She introduces Kramer as a tall high school graduate but quickly has to correct with equvalency program graduate. Kramer does his stroll and dance and trips into the audience. George gets a new job.

The Masseuse

Elaine dates a man named Joel Rifkin whose name is the same as that of a famous serial killer. She tries to talk him into changing his name at first he scuffs at the idea. During a sporting event his name is called up and the crowd looks up puzzled so Joel decides its time to get a new name. Elaine and he think up some possible names. He likes Stuart and Alex. She likes Elis and OJ. Jerry dates a masseuse that just won't give him a massage. Jerry tells Kramer that if he can't get a massage neither should Kramer. George and his girlfriend go out with Jerry and his masseuse girlfriend. The masseuse hates George and George obsesses with what he can do about this. He is given the choice to forget about the women who hates him or spend time with the girlfriend that likes him. He opts for the woman that hates him. He carries her massage table around and tries to get her to like him. The fact that she hates him is irresistable as he sees it.

The Cigar Store Indian

A female Native American that Jerry likes becomes offended when Jerry gives Elaine a "Cigar Store Indian" as a gift. George accidentally spills coffee on his parents table. Jerry asks Elaine to take the subway home and gives her the TV guide from the Costanzas house to keep her busy. On the subway Elaine encounters a die hard TV fantatic. George meets a lady at a furniture refinishing store and elicits her help to fix his coffee table problem. George's parents arrive and discover a condom in their bed and that their TV guide is missing. George is grounded by his parents. Kramer first comes up with an idea for a coffee table that folds out from a book. Elaine hates the idea but Kramer will realize this in a later episode.

13* The Conversion

George likes a girl whose religion is Latvian Orthodox. George attempts to convert so that he can be with her. His parents catch him studying for the Latvian Orthodox test and are furious. Jerry finds fungus creme in his girlfriends medicine cabinent and asks Elaine if she can get her podiatrist friend's opinion on the creme. Jerry and Elaine get into trouble because Jerry said that podiatrists"are not real doctors."Elaine tells Jerry that the medicine cabinet is sacred and that he shouldn't have rambled through his girlfriend's. He retorts that it was cracked and he just peeked a bit. Jerry steals the cream and has the podiatrist look at it. Jerry learns that the creme was for his girlfriend's dog but has to explain why he took it from her. Kramer meets a sister at George's new church. She quickly becomes enfatuated with him. Kramer asks the advice of several wise men, and bathes in a smelly solution of vinegar. Then he meets with the sister and she is no longer attracted to him, much to Kramer's delight.

The Stall

In a bathroom Elaine discovers that she has no toilet paper so she asks the woman in the next stall for a piece. The woman who is Jerry's girlfriend in reality refuses. Elaine dates someone that Jerry refers to as a mimbo or a mail bimbo. George is fasinated by the mimbo concept and wishes he could be a mimbo. Kramer calls for phone sex and talks with Jerry's girlfriend. Elaine's mimbo boyfriend takes Kramer and George rockclimbing but has a terrible accident which disfigures his face. Elaine never looks at him the same anymore.

The Dinner Party

George, Elaine, Jerry, and Kramer struggle to come up with gifts for a dinner party. Jerry and Elaine attempt to get a cake but find that they didn't get a number and have to wait in line again. When they finally have a chance to get a cake the only one left has a hair on it. George and Kramer shop for wine but George only has a $100 bill and the merchant can not change it. George attempts to get change elsewhere. Kramer ultimately breaks enough wine that the $100 will just about cover it. George and Kramer wait for a person who has double parked his car to move it so that they can get to their car.

The Marine Biologist

A college aquaintaince of Jerry and George asks about how things are going for George. Jerry tells her that George is now a marine biologist. George one day is walking on the beach and is asked to use his scientific knowledge to help save a whale. George fakes it as best he can. Kramer has difficulty with golf as he constantly hits the grass and the sand rather than the ball. Elaine watches as her electronic pocket organizer is thrown out of a limousine by a Russian writer. It strikes someone in the head.

The Pie

Elaine discovers a mannequin at a store that looks just like her and ponders where it came from. George tries to get a suit at half price but it makes a funny noise when he walks. Jerry's date refuses to taste his apple pie and Jerry refuses to try the pizza her father made because he forgot to wash his hands.

The Stand-In

Kramer convinces his midget friend Mickey to wear lifts to appear taller. George wishes to break up with his latest girlfriend but reconsiders when he discovers she is being encouraged to break up the relationship as well.

The Wife

Jerry has a woman pose as his wife so that he can get a marriage discount at the local dry cleaners. The plan backfires as the dry cleaner ultimately discovers the plan and Jerry's female friend thinks she is being used just for the discount. George pees in the shower at the gym is seen and worries about being discovered. Elaine notices a new guy at the health club but wonder what he really thinks of her. Ultimately she admits to him that she knows George the guy that peed in the shower, and all bets for a date are off. Kramer attempts to impress the parents of his new girlfriend.

The Raincoats (1)
The Raincoats (2)

George gets talked into being a big brother but he doesen't like it and tries to get out of it.Elaine dates a close talker or someone that talks really close to another person. Her boyfriend is becoming a bit to cozzy with Jerry's parents. Morty Seinfeld schemes with Kramer to sell used raincoats. Jerry gets caught making out during Shindlers List which his parents give him great grief about.

The Fire

George attends a party with his girlfriend at her apartment but runs like a crazed coward when he spots the first hint of fire. He pushes kids out of the way and panics. Kramer dates a coworker of Elaine that drives Elaine bonkers. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry's standup routines and she heckles him relentlessly. Jerry decides that he should go to where she works and heckle her in return. Jerry so upsets her that she runs into oncoming traffic on the street and loses her pinky toe. Kramer takes the toe to the hospital to reunite it with the girl but not after saving a bus load of hostages from a crazed gunman. George learns to live with his cowardice after thinking things over.

The Hamptons

George is upset because everyone sees his girlfriend topless before he does. Jerry's girlfriend spots George nude after emerging from the pool and George attempts to explain the dynamics of "shrinkage." The gang makes a trip to the Hamptons to see a new born child but everyone finds the baby is absolutely hideous.

The Opposite

George decides that whenever he goes with his instincts he always ends up worse off. He decides to go with the opposite of what he thinks he should do. Kramer appears on TV to promote an invention he got the idea for during an episode back entitled the Cigar Store Indian. The invention is a book that folds out into a cofee table.

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