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Season 9

The Butter Shave

Seinfeld discovers a new stand up comedian rival in Kenny Bania who seems to take everything that Jerry once had including his girlfriend. Jerry believes that Kenny does well on stage only because he is benefiting from Jerry's previous standup performance which preps the crowd to a more receptive state for humor. As Jerry puts it Kenny is "following on Jerry's Coatails." Jerry plans to bomb on stage so that Kenny will not be able to do this anymore. His plan backfires as NBC executives leave offering Kenny the opportunity to work for NBC. Kramer discovers the joy's of shaving with butter and roasts himself in a sauna. He is "well done." Newman can't help but see Kramer as a big turkey and chases him around as such. Such a chase appears part of Kenny's comedic act to the NBC executives and further helps Kenny's career. Elaine and her boyfriend Putty travel to Europe via plane and have quite a time. They break up and get back together many times during the trip. On the flight back Elaine refers to one of her copassengers as Vegetable Lasagna. Jerry discovers that George is a closet Kenny Bania fan. It seems that Kenny's ovaltine jokes appeal to some at least including those at NBC.

The Voice

After George's pretend handicap is discovered by his boss at Play Incorporated, everyone at work no longer treats him as someone who is special. He can't be fired since he still has a one year contract with the company but they try everything to get him to quit. He is locked out of his office and his bathroom. But this does not stop George who crawls into his office via a vent and also gains access to his bathroom which Jerry refers to as Xanadu (the great mansion in the movie Citizen Cane.) Jerry has a new girlfriend, Claire and her stomach makes some unusual noises which George and Jerry soon mock with a comedic accented "Hello." known as the voice. Claire hates the voice and she forces Jerry to chose between her and the voice. After George agrees that the voice is no longer fun to do, Jerry agrees to stop. But eventually temptation becomes to much and the voice is unleashed and Jerry loses Claire. Jerry bets with Elaine that she will get back with her boyfriend Putty even though she believes she won't. The next day Elaine arrives at Jerry's place with ragid hair and the same clothes from the night before. She had been with Putty, even though she claimed it was just sex and "an isolated incident." Kramer is given an intern from NYU to help him with his fictitious firm Kramerica. The intern helps free Kramer from the mundane day to day tasks of life so that he can pursue more pressing matters. Ultimately Kramerica is discovered as the farce it is, and the internship is ended by NYU. The intern it seems has fallen under Kramer's spell so he plots with Kramer to test a giant Oil bladder. Ingeniously they bring it to the top floor of George's place of employment play, and drop it. Jerry's girlfriend Claire is hit with it and the ensuing mess causes Play Inc to go out of business. This makes George out of work yet again.

The Serenity Now

George's father Frank learns to say the phrase "serenity now" every time he feels his blood pressure rising. This is meant to calm him and it provides for some most unusual situations. Elaine's boss Lippman throws a Jewish bar mitzvah for his son and invites Elaine. His son french kisses Elaine and Elaine is soon in demand for all the neighborhood boy's bar mitzvahs. George's father Frank sells computer along with his master salesman Lloyd. He tries to bring George into the business, but George just can't sell anything. George's father arranges for a selling contest to determine who will be fired and who will win a water cooler. George plans to outsell Lloyd by buying computers himself. He stashes them at Kramer's. George then learns the Lloyd really didn't sell any computers, as his phone for selling was not even connected. Elaine learns the reason Jewish boys are attracted to her is her shiksappeal. She seeks a Rabi to help her with this problem but even the rabbi can't get away from her appeal. Jerry's girlfriend gives Knicks tickets away and comments that Jerry never seems to get mad. Jerry attempts to use profanity to show his anger, but Kramer, George, and his girlfriend think its funny. Jerry finally learns how to express his anger, his girlfriend dumps him because of this. Jerry discovers that he really did care for her. Jerry becomes emotional and tells George that he loves him and offers to marry Elaine. Elaine at first got away from Jerry fast but then returns to tell Jerry yes to the marriage proposal. George tells Jerry about his life which scares Jerry straight and he becomes his old self and turns down Elaine's acceptance for marriage. Kramer tells George that serenity now will just cause you to bottle up your anger until one day you will explode. Kramer finally loses his cool and breaks all of George's computers. George's dad loses it too as does his wife. The phrase hoochie mamma is used instead of serentiy now but nothing works at this point.

The Blood

Jerry's parents believe that he does not get enough exercize and arrange for a personal trainer to assst him. The personal trainer is very old and uses the phrase "Let's go" a lot as if he still has what it takes to fight. The personal trainer quickly throws out his back. Kramer begins saving his own blood just in case but discovers that refrigeration is a problem. He ultimately stores the blood in Jerry's car but when the car begins to overhead he panics and blows the radiator. He refuses to turn off the air conditionar as the manual suggest because it would ruin his blood. To cool the car he puts some of his cool blood in the engine. Jerry is involved in an accident with an exacto knife and ends up with Kramer's blood in his veins. The exacto knife was used earlier by George to prepare pudding skin singles. George discovers that if he can combine sex and food into one experience his life will be set. Elaine's friend Vivian believes that Elaine is too irresponsible to babysit her son Jimmy so Kramer is to babysit her. Elaine believes she is resonsible and pushes Kramer out of the way so that she can babysit the child. After seen the responsibility is more than she bargained for, she attempts to prove to her friend just how irresponsible she is. George discovers that he pushed the envelope too far with his girlfriend when he attempted to watch tv, eat cured meat and have sex all at the same time. George meets Vivian the mother of the child Elaine is babysitting and discovers that she too has a food fetish. The too fall to the ground and makeout as Vivian reaches for a pan of cured meats and to turn on the TV.

The Junk Mail

Kramer becomes fed up with all the junk mail that he receives. He bricks up his mailbox, but then his mail is just sent to Jerry instead. Kramer then organizes a boycott and protest of mail services lead just by himself. Newman tries to warn Kramer that someone, a mailman he trusts and has known for a while will pick him up for his meddles in the affairs of the Post Office. He changes his warning as the last minute and declares it is going to go down another way. The warning at first was not heeded because Newman himself was in his mailtruck as a mailman as he provided Kramer with the warning. Kramer is hauled before the Post Master General of the US and a meeting ensuses. Kramer says that he doesen't need mail as faxes, e-mails, and electronic bill paying solve all of the problems that mail generates. The Postmaster as played by Wilford Brimely (Quaker Oats Cereal "Its the right thing to do" man) convinces him to end his crusade against the mail. All of Kramer's junk mail is given to him and this problem is solved. Jerry performs a show to help a car dealership of his friend Frankie who Jerry refers to as "Fragile Frankie." Frankie agrees to give Jerry a car to compensate him for what he did to help the dealership. Jerry expects something small and sporty but instead is given a van. Jerry's friend it seems remembers old stories he and Jerry used to share about touring the country in a van. Jerry feels he can not tell Frankie about his dislike for the van because it would kill him. Frankie is "fragile" after all. Kramer plots with Jerry in an attempt to sell the van in secret. Kramer puts a classifed ad in the newspaper for the Van with the phrase "interesting trades considered." He tells Jerry that this will help reel in interested parties. Shortly thereafter Kramer himself calls Jerry about the ad and brings up the interesting trades clause of the ad and offers a t-shirt which has been sweat stained by Anthony Quinn as payment. After his trade is refused he looks over the van very throughouly and breaks the antenna off the van by accident. Kramer later uses this van to launch his campaign against postal mail. George believes that his parents are starting to avoid him. In life before its all he wanted, but now that he has this, he is unsatisfied. He plots to fake a relation with a cousin in an attempt to shock his parents into paying him more attention. The cousin actually goes for the idea wholeheartedly and this catches George by surprise. The van Jerry was given winds up in the woods and Jerry hunts for it while looking at all of the strange people who dig holes at night. George stumbles upon the van but the van is rocking. Jerry says when "It's a rocking, don't go a knocking." George proceeds to find his parents having sex. After seeing this Jerry as a regular germophobe now has justified cause to sell the van he always hated.

The Merv Griffin Show

Kramer discovers parts of the old Merv Griffen Show set in a dumpster and proceeds to set them up in his apartment. He creates a mock show with himself as the host. He talks as if he has an audience which proves quite humorous. Jerry discovers that his girlfriend has a spectacular collection of old toys but she refuses to let him play with them. Jerry and George sneak over to her house when she is asleep and play with the toys. Jerry growing up had Army Pete and not Gi Joe so it proved quite interesting for him. Even Elaine enjoyed playing with the toys especially the Easy Bake oven later. George accidentally hits a squirrel with his car and his girlfriend Miranda insists that he take it to a Vet. Kramer changes the format of his show to one of "scandals and animals" and invites nature expert Jim Fowler who brings a hawk. The hawk hunts the squirrel that George earlier injured and also brought along.

The Slicer

Elaine's neighbor has left the country but had left her alarm set to go off very loudly early in the morning. This greatly angers Elaine who has agreed to feed the neighbor's cat. Kramer purchases a meat slicing machine so that he can create meat far better than store bought meat. Kramer uses his slicing machine to help Elaine feed the neighbor's cat. Elaine attempts to use the slicer to even out the heels of her shoes and dings the blade. She gives the slicer back to Kramer quickly and then closes her door. Kramer notices the ding and madly pulls on Elaine's door to ask her about it. He pulls off the doorknob and Elaine is now locked in her apartment. The gang keeps Elaine company as they wait for the locksmith to arrive. Jerry has a new girlfriend which is a doctor. Her constant talk of healing people makes Jerry sick. Jerry notices hives breaking out on his body and finally asks his girlfriend doctor about it. She tells him that the hives are a common reaction to benzene a chemical often used to clean metal such as Kramer's slicing machine. George gets a new job and notices that his boss seems familiar. He thinks back and then remembers an incident about 10 years ago in which George insulted the man. The new boss has a photo from this time period with George in it. George steals this photo from his bosses office in the hopes of removing himself from the picture. It get retouched just not in the way he had in mind. He is given a drawing of his boss rather than the actual photograph retouched. George then schemes with Kramer to get a new picture of his boss taken. Kramer pretends to be a dermatologist (Dr Von Nostrom?) and photographs the man and notices a mark that may be cancerous. Kramer tells George that he must tell his new boss about this. The new photograph is placed in his bosses office and George tells his boss that he really should get himself checked out again by another doctor. His boss looks at the photo in his office and says that he has nothing to worry because he had the mark 10 years ago when the picture in his office was taken. In a later episode George's boss Mr Kruger spends time with George and Kramer who he knows by his dermatologist alias from this episode during Festivus.

The Betrayal

This is the notorious backwards episode. Some people liked it I absolutely hated it. This episode involved a trip to India and a wedding. The out of order chronology made the episode one of cerebral will to follow rather than one of laughs and enjoyment.
The Apology

Jerry has a new girlfriend that does everything naked including cleaning. Jerry discusses with George that there is such a thing as bad naked. George exclaims that Jerry is spoiled as George spends all day just thinking about what women look like without their clothes. Jerry retorts by saying that cleaning is bad naked, as is coughing as thousands of tiny muscles just spring into action from no where. Jerry talks his girlfriend into wearing clothes. Unfortunately when she wears clothes all he can think about is what she looks like naked. She too now can only think about what Jerry looks like naked. Jerry is imagined as a monkey when he scratches. This woudl be a bad naked even for the girlfriend to imagine. Kramer discovers that he is spending way to much time in the shower. He asks Jerry to give him some tips on how to cut down on his shower time. Jerry agrees to help but only with a "dry run." After Jerry proves a "tease" Kramer travels to a local gym and observes how other men shower and comments to them that he will definately be watching what they are doing. He is beaten up naturally. Kramer then decides that his long showers are not all the bad and installs a garbage disposal unit in his shower. Now he can cook while showering. Elaine grows upset with a coworker named Peggy after she responds harshly to Elaine after she touches her water. Elaine touches the water and Peggy then places it in the trash. However another water that was partially drunk by someone she had no trouble at all picking up and drinking. Elaine confronts Peggy about the incident and Peggy brings up all the men Elaine is with and how that leads to germs among other things. Elaine then discovers that her boyfriend Puddy is a recovering germophobe. Elaine, Jerry, and Peggy sit down to a meal prepared by Kramer and all goes well until Kramer reveals that he prepared the meal in his shower while he bathed. George demands an apology from a recovering alcoholic for a comment he once made about the neck hole of George's sweater. He apologizes but George is not satisfied. George does not want the man to complete his 12 step program to recovery. George confronts him at work at an ice cream parlor and the man says that he was never sory for what he said. George is tricked into going to a rageaholic meeting while trying to ger his apology from the man from earlier during his AA meeting. George rants and raves and shows his true nature as a rageaholic.

The Strike

Jerry has a new girlfriend, Gwen that looks ugly or beautiful depending on the lighting of the room she is in. Jerry finds that she looks best in back corner of a restaurant and always tries to bring her here. She begins to hate this place and ultimately Jerry as well. George, Elaine, and Jerry attend a Hanukkah party and as a gift is given a donation to a charitable cause in his name. This infuriates George. George decides that if this guy can do it, so can he. George creates a fake charity known as the Human Fund, and gives everyone at the office a fake donation to it for Christmas. George's boss Krueger decides to donate some of his company's money to charity and reasons that one charity is as good as another, so he decides to give the money to George's imaginary Human Fund. After some checking Krueger discovers that there is no human fund. Krueger threatens to fire George is he doesen't have a good reason why he lied. George tells Krueger that he celebrates Festivus and not Christmas but felt persecuted and obligated to get others Christmas presents at work. Festivus is a holiday made up by George'e dad Frank. Kruger, Kramer, and George attend the years Festivus celebration at Frank Costanza's house. Festivus involves a varity of bizarre rituals, and can not win until either George or his father goes down. Kruger recognizes Kramer at the house as Dr Von Nostros (? spelling) who earlier examined him so that George could get a fake picture of him to cover up an earlier incident George had with Kruger at the beach before getting hired. Kramer resumes work at a Bagel shop he used to work for 12 years ago; it seems he was on strike for all this time.

The Dealership

Elaine's boyfriend puddy is prompted from mechanic to car salesman. Jerry attempts to use Puddy to get a good deal on a new car. After Puddy and Elaine get mad at each other, Jerry atttempts to get them back together so that he can get a new car at a good price. At the car dealership, George attempts to buy a twinkie from a vending maching but notices that his ragged dollar just won't cut it. He asks a mechanic for change but is refused. George gets change another way and returns to his machine to get his twinkie. The machine takes the dollar but his twix hangs and just won't come to poor Georgie. George leaves for a bit and returns to discover his hanging twix gone. George believes the mechanic that refused him change took his twix bar. A "candybar" line up is created in an attempt to find out who stole his twinkie. Kramer tests drives a car through the rigors of one day in the life of Kramer to determine how good of a car it would be. Kramer and the salesman riding with him become fascinated with riding the car near empty and push things to the limit.

The Reverse Peephole

Newman and Kramer switch peepholes so that they can get a different view of the world. George has a gigantic wallet as he keeps everything in it. In the coffee shop he has to prop things under himself to balance out the thick wallet when he sits. George spots one receipt he might can use on the street and attempts to put it in his wallet. The wallet breaks open and everything flies out as George frantically tries to save the memories of his life which he houses in one gigantic wallet. Jerry on the other hand goes without a wallet entirely. Jerry becomes tired of hauling all of his girlfriends stuff about and Elaine talks him into carrying a Carry all which is in essence a purse for men put out by the J Peterman company. Newman is deemed a troublemaker by the super of the apartment and is threatened with eviction. Elaine's boyfriend puddy wears a gigantic fur coat known as "the man fur," and walks the streets of New York looking like the biggest pimpdaddy from the 70's. Jerry refers to the coat as Dr Zais, an orangautan scientist from Planet of the Apes. Elaine hates the coat and later finds herself at a party with Puddy in which she is placed in charge of people's coats. She throws Putty's coat out the window. Newman retrieves the coat and gives it the apartment landlord's wife whom he is sleeping with. The landlord talks with Kramer about this and Kramer claims it is Jerry's coat as he is just another insecure comedian. George, Jerry, and Elaine purchase a massaging chair for a friend. George enjoys the chair so much that he doese not tell the others that he has gotten it. George later finds out the the person the chair was purchased for hated another gift George gave him in the past some music so George sets off to return the chair to the store but his gigantic wallet comes apart and then he can't. Jerry pretends that Putty's coat is his own and wears it before the landlord. Jerry then walks the street in it, and his purse is stolen.

The Cartoon

Elaine sees a comic in the New Yorker magazine and ponders its meeting. Everyone she meets pretends to get the joke of the comic but she just can't. Finally she confronts one man who tells her he doesen't get it either. Elaine is determined to get her own cartoon in the New Yorker. She gets a cartoon published but later her boss J Peterman notices that it is an old Ziggy cartoon. It appears that an old cartoon had entered Elaine's subconcious and she recreated it without even knowing. Kramer's absolute honesty about Jerry gets Jerry in trouble with one of Elaine's old friends Sally. Sally a struggling comic gains strength from the experience and launches a standup career on just how mean Jerry Seinfeld is. Kramer feels bad about what happened and declares a vow of silence so his mouth can get him in no more trouble. Jerry decides that to stop Sally's career he will cut off contact from her and thus deprive her of material to create jokes about. This works but Kramer even though he has a vow of silence spills all he knows about Jerry and gives her yet more to joke about. George's new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry and Kramer makes this known. At first George fights this thought, but when his girlfriend has to cut her hair to get gum out even he sees the resemblance and he leaves screaming.

The Strongbox

After a serie sof breakins in the area, Kramer decides that he has to puchase a lockbox to put his valuables in. The only question is where to hide his key. Kramer attempts to hide the key at Jerry's place. The first place he puts the key is in Jerry's pocket. Jerry quickly finds the key. Kramer then asks Jerry to leave his own apartment so that he may hide the key. Jerry returns and discovers that his intercom is broken and Kramer's key is the reason. The key also broke Jerry's buzzer which allows him to let people in. Elaine appears and asks to be let in. Jerry at first considers throwing his key (or is it food) down to her. But she and Jerry both know that Elaine would chicken out at the last minute and it would be lost. Jerry walks down to let her in. Later George is in a similar situation and discovers old candy on the ground and eats it. Elaine obtains a boyfriend that is somewhat of a mystery to her. Ever so often she is diving behind corners and her time with him is constantly an adventure. Jerry and Elaine contemplate if the boyfriend is a real superhero or if he is just married. Elaine goes to his apartment and discovers that he is poor and furthermore is even married. Kramer hides his key in a new place which is a Parrot's food dish which belongs to a neighbor of Kramer, Phil who is keeping his Parrot in the hallway. The bird eats the key, and later dies.Jerry and Kramer travel to a pet semetary to exume the body of the bird. Jerry agrees to dig so that he won't have to reach in and pull it out. Just as Phil rounds the corner at the pet semetary Jerry exclaims that they just need to cut it out and they will be all done. George's new girlfriend Maura will not except a breakup. George presents a rather detailed case for the breakup but is denied. George then attempts to cheat on Maura with another woman so that he will be allowed to break up with her. He then brings the two women together and expects all hell to break lose. Amazingly both women think what they have with George is too important to let anything stop it. They can work anything out even another woman.

The Wizard

Jerry buys his father a $200 electronic pocket organzier known as the wizard. Kramer moves to the retirement condo where Jerry's parents live. It seems from a life of nothing, Kramer is ready to retire. Jerry's father plots with Kramer to have Kramer run for President of the Condo owner's group. Jerry's father figures that he will control things from behind the scenes. Jerry's father plans to clinch his victory by giving everyone a wizard. Instead of wizard's a $50 substitute known as the willard is given away, this infuriates the voters and the election is lost. Elaine ponders the race of her boyfriend, is he black or hispanic, eats lots of spicy food because she thinks he may be hispanic. She finally discovers he is white. The relationship that at first she thought was interesting now it seemed was just another relation of two ordinary white people. The parent's of George's girlfriend want George to attend a foundation meeting. George lies and says he has to close a deal on his house in the Hamptons to get out of having to go. They insist on seeing the home. George leads them on wild chase to nowhere. In the end he even gets out on foot and claims that it is just around the bend even though he is in the middle of the woods. The parents proclailm they never liked him and know from the beginning the Hamptons story was a lie. They just liked seeing him squirm and wished to see just how far he would take the lie.

16* The Burning

George discovers that he always seems to put his foot in his mouth if he talks for too long about anything. He comes up with the idea of "leaving on a high note." After making one good comment he proclaims "I'm Out of here." and then leaves with those around him remembering the one good comment he had. He leaves on high notes from meetings at work. At first this strategy works well for him. George's boss Mr Kruger teams up with George on a project. Kruger begins leaving on a high note himself and leaves George with all the work. George spots his boss in a restaurant eating when he is supposed to be working. George pulls a role reversal and tells his boss to get back to work. This is ironic considering how well George has been at avoiding work all his life. Once he even hid under a desk at work all day when he was with the Yankees even. Jerry has a new girlfriend that has a mystery story that Jerry has overherd her talking about. It's called "the tractor story." George and Jerry ponders what it could be. George suggests that perhaps she had her big toe grafted onto her thumb because of an accident. Jerry tries discretely to nudge her into revealing it but it seems she won't give it up so easily. Kramer and his little friend Mickey decide to pretend to have illnesses for a local medical school to help the students learn about diagnosing illnesses. Kramer is assinged gonorrhea and smokes a pipe and tells of the burning urination he felt and gives a dramtic performance before the medical students guess with a smile that he had gonorrhea. For the next performance Kramer is assigned the same illness but feels he is being typecast and attempts to trade his disease with his friend Mickey. When Jerry and his girlfriend are in their apartment, Mickey comes in and exclaims that Kramer gave him gonorrhea. Kramer says he thought he would like it. They are referring to pretend diseases but Jerry's girlfriend doesen't know it so she tells them that at least they have each other and that she got gonorrhea from a ride on a tractor. Jerry's doesen't like this news so he dumps her. Elaine spots religious items "Jesus fish" on Puddy's car and determines that Puddy is somewhat religious. Puddy tells Elaine that she is going to hell, but he doesen't care. Elaine tells Puddy that he should care if she is going to hell even though she isn't. To Elaine hell is a place of heat and ragid clothes. Elaine and Puddy see a priest to discuss religion. The priest tells them that they both are going to hell because they are not married and are living in sin. Elaine and the priest then toy with Puddy and make devil horn gestures with their fingers.

The Bookstore

Jerry and George spend time at a book store in hopes of meeting women. George takes a large book into the bathroom to help him feel more conducive to exertion so to speak. He is caught and forced to buy the book. He tries to return the book but discovers that the book has been flagged. He can't even give the book to charity. A woman at a charity threatens to jump over the counter of the store and beat George up if he doesen't take his bathroom book from the premises. Jerry spots his Uncle Leo stealing things and later approches him about this. Leo says that he is an old man and that if caught he will just pretend he didn't know what he was doing and that he was confused. Jerry tells his parents about Uncle Leo's behavior and they say that everyone steals. Jerry responds with "who criminals." To Jerry's parents it isn't stealing if you need what you take such as batteries. Kramer and Newman plan to start their own rickshaw (human pulled carriage) business and purchase one from overseas. They then turn to the homeless as potential employees of this venture. The first man they strap the rickshaw to runs away. They later find the richshaw and Kramer loses a childish word game contest so he will have to pull the rickshaw. He pulls well until he approaches a hill and ultimately lets go with Newman in the Richshaw who goes flying down the hill at full speed. Elaine gets drunk and makes out with a coworker named Zack at a party. Everyone sees this, to avoid being known as the office scank, Elaine pretends that she and Zack have been going out for sometime. This plan runs into trouble when Elaine's boss Mr Peterman spots Zack making out with another woman. She pretends to be greatly saddened by this and plays it off as best she can. Uncle Leo makes another trip into the bookstore and steals as before. This time Jerry tips one of the clerks and asks him to try to scare the old man a little. The clerk responds by radioing his coworkers to swarm on the shoplifter. Uncle Leo is hauled away and looks at Jerry.

The Frogger

George and Jerry are in an old pizza parlor they used to visit a lot in the past and George notices the old Frogger game he used to play. The pizza place is going to be torn down and George discovers that he still has the high score on the game. George decides he must save the Frogger game so that the legacy of his high score can live on. Kramer recruits a character named Slippery Pete to assist in saving the game. Kramer uses caution tape to secure the area as best he can. But then everyone notices that time is running out on the portable power unit giving power to the game. Power to the game will be gone in mere minutes. With no caution tape left George attempts to move the Frogger arcade game across the street and to the nearest power supply. With the movement noise of the classic Frogger game, George moves in and out of traffic and attempts to cross the street. The game ultimately is smashed and another of George's dreams dies.Elaine calls in sick to work after two birthday celebrations have caused her to feel sick of forced gatherings like birthday parties of "friends.". She uncovers a piece of cake in Petermans refrigerator that is worth many thousands because it was from the wedding of King Edward VIII. Elaine has at first a small piece but then eats the whole cake and replaces it with a cheap store bought Entemanns. Peterman notices Elaine eat the cake on survellance but believes the old cake's effect on the digestive track is more than adaquate punishment for Elaine.

23* The Maid

Everyone at George's work has a nickname so George decided that he will try to be known as T-bone. This doesen't work as another becomes known as T-Bone. George is from that moment on known as Coco as in Coco the chimp because of his antics with T-bone while trying to talk T-bone into letting him have the nickname. Kramer's girlfriend moves to downtown New York and this presents Kramer with a long distance relationship. He resolves this problem by watching movies with her on the phone and even going to the bathroom at the same time she says she does on the phone. Kramer signs up for a cooking fax newsletter which bombards Elaine's answering machine with many messages. Elaine then opts to get a new phone number to avoid the annoying faxes but gets a new area code as well which hampers her datelife. Ultimately someone dies in her apartment and she gets the phone number with her original area code. She is soon called by the grandson of the lady that died. After becoming annoyed with all the calls she pretends that "grammy" dies. The boy calls 911 and the fire department breaks down the door into Elaine's apartment. Jerry hires a maid named Cindy and pays her to clean his apartment. Eventually Cindy becomes his girlfriend and at first she cleans and is paid for cleaning. But as time goes on, she requires payment even when she no longer cleans. Kramer calls Jerry a John and insinuates that Cindy is a prostitute. Jerry then refuses to pay Cindy the next day because she did no cleaning. He then fires her and breaks up with her at the same time. Kramer travels downtown to rendevous with his girlfriend but gets lost and asks Jerry to pick him up. A man on the street harrases Jerry while en route to Kramer and tells him to pay Cindy for her troubles. Jerry finds Cindy and offers her money and is then arrested by Police for soliciting a prostitute. George discovers a maid named Coco and brings her to his boss in an attempt to rid himself of the Coco nickname at work. This works but he ends up with a new nickname not to his likeing. Kramer is picked up by Cindy's boss and asked if he can use a mop and a ringer. It seems he too will be able to work the streets.

The Puerto Rican Day

The Mets are down 8-0 in the 8th as Elaine, George. Kramer, and Jerry watch they decide to leave. Elaine fears missing part of her weekend winddown which is 60 minutes. The gang escapes by taking a long route underneath the bleachers of the baseball stadium. The 4 travel in a car but , Elaine leaves as she thinks the traffic is too much for the car so she seeks a cab which she later abandons. Later Kramer and Jerry leave on foot and watch a movie with George. George says a line during the Hinderburg movie meant to be funy but it bombs because someone is taunting him with a laser pointer. A guy with a laser pointer taunts George throughout the city and causes George to reach for what he thinks is the laser pointer and gets ink all over his hands. Elaine makes her way back to the cab and to an alley at the same time George does.Later he appears at an apartment Kramer and Jerry are surveying because Kramer needs to go to the bathroom. Kramer and George let themselves be known under aliases. Kramer uses H.E. Pennypacker, and Jerry uses Kal Varnsen. Art Vandelay, George's alias shows up because he needs to watch the ink off his hands. The three watch the end of the Mets games from earlier and watch as the Mets win it from behind.. A great parade for Puerto Rican day commences and Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire and a mob chases after him.

The Clip Show
The Clip Show (2)

Both parts of the clip show showcase bits from previous Seinfeld episodes which were edited together. The segments include bits about relationships; getting in, getting out, and reasons for breakups. Terminology is discussed for people including high talker, close talker, low talker and everything else the show is famous for.

The Seinfeld Finale

This episode was originally broadcast as a longer (hour or hour and a half?) and was later shown in reruns broke up into several episodes. The fabulous four discover that the pilot for the series Jerry has been approved and NBC agrees to let the gang use one of their private jets to travel anywhere before later going to California for the show. Kramer insists that California is a seductress and once arriving there it will not be possible to leave. During the flight George can do nothing but complain about how small the plane is and how Ted Danzan probably had a better plane when he worked for NBC. In the air the plane has troubles and everyone contemplates death. The plane sets down in a small town for repairs. The gang goes out on foot as the pilot will notify them via a beeper when the plane is ready. Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, and George watch as a short fat man is robbed. They laugh at him and watch as the robber takes off on foot. The man reports this to the local police which arrest the four and notify them that they have violated a good somaritan law which requires citizens to make reasonable efforts to help other people. The four faces a fine and up to 5 years in prison. They call Jackie Chiles the famous lawyer from the show to represent them and a trial ensues. Newman travels to the town to watch the final fall of his nemesis Jerry. George Steinbrenner of the Yankees travels to the trial to watch the plight of his former employe George Costanza. The trial assembles memorable characters from throughout the 9 seasons of Seinfeld including the bubble boy which George deflates after a fight over a trivial pursuits question with the answer moops and not moors. Other characters include Babo which got deported because Jerry did not check his mail. The virgin that felt betrayed because of the game the fab four embarked on to see how long they could go without sex also attended. Also the low talker which made the puffy shirts, the library cop, Terry Hatcher (who played a character Elaine felt up to see if her breasts were real), and others such as the Soup Nazi. The trial ends with the group found guilty and sentenced to prison. The group ponders nothing in jail for a while just as their lives were. Jerry later goes back to his stand up routines in prison in which he pokes fun of prisoners from Cell block D. The show about nothing was at an end and many around the world mourned the loss of the greatest comedy for thinking minds ever conceived. Multi threaded plots with plot lines converging elements from one episode and season to the next leave much to be amazed about. Superior writing is the essence of the show about nothing for only a skilled writer can take nothing and make something.

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